Letters to my hubby

Dear hubby to be,

I am really passionate about seeing marriages work and as a result, I have been harboring several thoughts of marriage and dating since I was young. I will share my thoughts and dreams soon.

As I watch modern Christian marriages flourish, I am reminded of the times I was growing up in the village and how I loathed marriage. My definition of marriage would be characterized by no love or affection, where all duties were fully left to the wife, where battering and separation were common phenomena, women being encouraged to save or say hide some money ‘just in case’ among others. I never envisioned marriage as a place of companionship, enjoyment, fellowship, protection, trust, affection…where the foundation is love.

Again, baby-sitting has never been an easy task. In fact, a couple friends of mine call it ‘baby-standing’. It entails being dirtied by the kids, understanding even the most hard to understand utterances and cases (and as Christians, bringing them up in the Lord’s ways entails not lying to them but explaining, I have learnt), being patient with them even when you feel you want to beat them up, for that would mean battering them after every few minutes, fixing your eyes on them especially while with crowds, among others.

Christianity and modernity well combined seems to work. It is astounding how working fathers chose to baby sit the kids even as the mothers work on something else. It was unthinkable for me that a man would even baby sit as he took his meal. And even now as I watch couples in Ezra conference divide labor (baby-sitting) among themselves to ensure they both attend seminars, I am amazed. As I spend time with the couples, I am for some reason beginning to get interested in parenting and children, yet I am sure it hasn’t been like this always. It must be in preparation to birth my own, although I do not expect one until 2020, earliest.

As I write this, I hope that the Lord will lead you to love me as the Lord loved the church and gave up everything for it. I look forward to great days with you, in a marriage as God intended. I pray that you will support me in bringing up the kids and in the house chores… and in everything else your hands finds to do. But above all, I trust God for grace to submit to you, as am enabled. Praying for you!