I have recently attended two bridal showers that left my heart disturbed. On one occasion, the ladies advised the bride to leave her job and concentrate on child bearing, upbringing and serving the husband; defining that as the epitome of home making. On the other occasion, the women vehemently advised the bride that she must work hard but not volunteer in the money affairs of the household as that is the man’s job. One lady went on to insinuate that all the wealth a single person accumulates while single belongs to them alone and they can chose whether to disclose it to their husband/partner or not.
I was not sure what to contribute as I appeared to be the only visitor in Jerusalem. I was greatly troubled…but the things you feel most deeply you must learn to be quite about, Elizabeth Elliot says, until you have thoroughly talked them through with God. So have I this morning, and I was led to Proverbs 31. And this is the letter.
Vs 10 opens with; a wife of noble character (where noble is defined as having or showing fine personal qualities or high moral principles) who can find? To mean that such women are rare.
This is a woman who is clearly hardworking and earning; making money/income for her household; she provides food for her family v15, considers a field and buys it, out of her earnings she plants a vineyard v16, she sees that her trading is profitable v 18 etc. I write to all singles today, the Bible is very clear that this woman works, earns and invests. But she has also gone out of her way to ensure she has a household, meaning she is an all rounded Christian, Wife, Mother, employed or in entrepreneurship – vs 24 (makes linen garments and sells them).
On the other hand, women who believe that women are not to contribute financially in the home are also misaligned. I invite us to notice that this woman provides food for her family and portions for her workers vs 15, clothes her family in scarlet Vs 21 and makes covering for her bed (either make or buy) vs 22. Again the Bible is clear that this person participates in the money affairs of her home, including ensuring that her lamp does not go out at night vs 18 (read paying electricity bills if you like).
In conclusion dear singles both men and women, attend showers, listen to people, but apply your heart to Biblical instruction and your ears to knowledge Prov. 23:12. Many people speak from their own experiences which may be skewed depending on their situation, therefore the best teacher is the Lord, in His word.