5 years. We have been married this long, with these two kids (to show for it). We just agreed on having a third one last month. (Let no one tell you to have aaalll things set before marriage, negotiables can wait 5 years 😂). This boy is as you can see; very jumpy and all over. He makes our house stay disorganized and has made us repent for the 1000+ times we wondered why houses of friends with 3 years old’s are always disorganized. We are glad we are married, and now join this movement to share our story in a glance, because marriage in God works.
How can you define your marriage in the last 5 years? Our marriage has been a beautiful story. Full of love, support, laughter, and sex. We have learned to make fun of things that would otherwise hurt us. Like my husband insisting on driving on an unknown road and leaving behind the car bumper, caught in a trunk, and adding sh. 10000 to that month’s budget for its repair. One can choose to curse the whole month, or laugh about it and hope that the son of man is self-warned. In addition, when your spouse gets into a bad embarrassing situation (that mostly causes loss or hurt to the family), try to act as supportive as possible. Make your comments later, if you have to.
What has been the major conflict in your marriage? Finances. Money. I am a spendthrift, my wife is a skinflint. I wonder if she thinks we will die saving. I think spending, get the good things of life while you live, and often pay back your body for laboring the whole month. My spending is equal to my risk-taking, and often I am asked if I’ve run mad with some proposals I have. Often, my wife laughs when I mention what I plan to do next, but the biggest beauty has been not being broken by finances. Women have a sense of security with money saved somewhere…It is like being shortlisted to the ark — there will be life after the flood.
Submission. Submission is the hardest part of wifehood. It is agreeing to the leadership of your husband when you feel convinced (and have communicated that) there is a better option to his proposal. It is agreeing to this proposal when you have an option to walk out. Agreeing to invest in something that may have -ve returns and faithfully supporting it, in the hope that it will yield results. But the hardest part is living through the waiting period in full support, without turning off your husband with weird words of the abundance of your heart.
Do you believe that childhood experiences shape our parenting styles? Yes, to a great extent. My dad was a very unavailable father, and that made me purposely decide to be vey available for my children. I have set specific days where I leave work early to be with my kids. I also strongly believe that parenting is a shared responsibility. Do not enter marriage with the fallacy that there are specific duties for men and women. Should a wife feel that all parenthood duties are left to them, they are likely to loath childbearing. Marriage should be centered on a culture that the two of you build, not what Luyhas, Kalenjins, Kikuyus, Et al do.
As a plus, we believe the phrase that it takes the whole village to raise the child. Ask around. Read books, check the net, then sieve and apply.
Major Highlight for your marriage? Being able to grow together. Marriage has discipled me, exposed and mirrored me, so that I know myself better. II know my shortcomings, tempers, impatience, selfishness, and all strengths. We are grateful to each other that having known each other this much, we still chose each other.
#Let us Tell your story.