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Relationships and MarriageThe Worse in "For Better or For Worse"

The Worse in “For Better or For Worse”

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Ever thought about the true meaning of the phrase, for better or for worse?

I remember the day I got married. I rehearsed the marriage vows severally in my head, and allowed my head to reel about what kind of ‘worses’ or ‘betters’ God would lead us through. I thought of joblessness, childlessness maybe, losing a family member, sickness, etc. I prayed earnestly (as was advised) that God would consider taking this cup of affliction off our way.

For married people, we all vowed during the wedding day that we would love our spouse for better or for worse. Without much apprehension, we committed to this, knowing we loved this person. Even if you did not declare this in front of many witnesses, you once or twice mused over it and hoped you indeed will live to that.

The vows go, “….to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part…” (insert with tears). What this vow make us imagine in our heads is that the worse comes in form of sickness and poverty, and ignores all other angles that worse or better may come in. It is mental conditioning because of the wording used.

Fast forward one year into the marriage, and your spouse becomes frustrated at work. The boss is toxic, the pay suddenly becomes peanut, especially with added responsibilities and so forth. Since your spouse still has a job, you do not quickly notice the worse in it, and therefore fail to position yourself to support him/her, and boom! Disintegration begins.

Have we heard of divorce cases where one partner is completely oblivious of what they did to their partners to ‘deserve this’? While I am not an advocate of divorce in any way, I write to ask us to open our eyes to the many versions of worse that marriage brings about.

Or it could be for some reason, the wife no longer likes her body. It ails her, but the husband notices not. If anything, he genuinely loves her ‘as she is’. Again, disintegration comes about albeit unknown.

I invite us today to pray for our marriages. We have consolation in knowing that while we may not know when a different version of worse has come, nor how to sail through that particular season, the Lord God instructs and teaches us the right way, Isaiah 28:26. I invite us also, to ask Him to open our eyes, to discern these times, but also, to thrive and enjoy the betters.

What are some of the ways worse has knocked in your marriage?

3 COMMENTS

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